There was a moment at my wedding that people have asked me about. When I say people I mean women that were there. I was asked if I had seen my bride in her wedding dress before she stepped off the stairs. Apparently I looked like I had never seen such beauty. Apparently I looked like I hadn’t seen the woman I’d loved in years. Meanwhile, the truth is I had seen her 5 minutes prior just downstairs. I know it’s weird to talk about, after the divorce, but after a few discussions with friends this week, it has been on my mind.
I truly believe that the feeling I had when she appeared and the way other women could see it in me is why I love women. I think I do a good job of having that feeling and I think many women respond very well to that feeling. And now let me do what we men so often do and mess it all up by trying to explain a feeling.
The moment I laid my eyes on her, I remembered what I had forgotten. It’s the same thing that happens when the engine in the car stops and in that instant and momentary silence, you realize that you have made it to the store and back and have completely forgotten the milk. Certainly this is a trait we often attribute to men, but I don’t think we appreciate it enough. I’ve read about how the male brain has fewer connections between left and right side and how we are wired differently and all sorts of things. Generally, such things are used to explain how women can focus on more things at a time and how they are superior in many realms and I do not knock that at all. Let me tell you though, I don’t know if womankind would change this about mankind if they could.
In that moment I forgot where I was. In that moment I remembered that I’d forgotten how beautiful she was. I remembered that I was going to have her for all my life and she would be mine forever. In that moment everything hit me like a freight train or a circling chopper. I guess I wasn’t able to focus on anything else because the hemispheres of my brain aren’t well connected. I would have forgotten the milk. Again.
Women, if you ever want a man to look at you like that, remember that it is because he has the ability to forget the milk. And I can’t speak for all men, but if you look at the clarity of the picture I have just painted, never question how terrible my memory is. I may not have the ability to recall things some times and there are things I may never pay attention to, but remember how I can look at you like I forgot.
I know I speak in sweeping terms of men and women, but it is only for clarity. Certainly you could find someone of any sex to look at you that way, but by and large, I think it is a trait for us men. On the flip side, I think receiving that feeling or causing that feeling is much more important to women. I know many women who would love to walk into a room and hear the silence as every heart skipped a beat. From the reactions I’ve seen, It doesn’t seem to matter if it’s one heart or a thousand, as long as all of them skip a beat in unison. I do not fault either side for feeling the way they do, I just draw the lines with these words because they fit for the time being.
Also, this is not a convenient excuse for men when they forget the milk. It’s not like your wife/wifey is going to appreciate that the sight of a woman at the store made you forget the milk. This may be something to point out now, before you forget the milk again, so that she can appreciate it is the same flaw that brings about both. But remember, it will only work so long as you can still look at her and forget the milk. Do so often and she’ll probably forgive you for forgetting the milk every time.