I was sitting at a computer programming competition and across the table was a woman.
It’s funny to notice that such a woman is more attractive in context than out, but let’s be honest, I am attracted to the geeky girls. If this is in the least bit questionable to you, you don’t understand why the most attractive woman in my life has earned the pseudonym Jeannette. Don’t let that go too far though, because others have definitely stopped and said wow about Jeannette, I just really appreciate the glasses and the tight ponytail that come with the quick wit and the familiarity of similar quirks.
Back to this female programmer. She was wearing short denim shorts like college girls in Florida do. She had a sharp nose and focused eyes. She had long loose hair that she played with a little as she worked. She was skinny and definitely not a 36-24-36. But there she was, just being an intelligent woman.
What’s interesting about this is it made me question why I find women attractive. Don’t read that one too deeply, because I definitely find women attractive, but I couldn’t put a finger on why I considered her attractiveness. Let’s be honest, I was at a programming competition and there were tall skinny guys, with sharp noses and longer hair. It was none of her attributes in particular. And I honestly had to consider that it wasn’t it wasn’t even all her attributes together. The only label I can apply is “the promise of a woman.”
When I see a woman, I get that whole misogynistic mechanism going on. I guess I’m a sexist. I get the feeling that a woman is more likely to offer me comfort. I get the feeling that a woman is more likely weaker in areas I am stronger at. I get the feeling that in general a woman would probably offer many things that would make me happy. I understand how sexist that sounds. I also expect that a woman has more social grace than I do and is more likely to tolerate and compensate for my social flaws. I expect a woman to have the immeasurable strength my mother has when dealing with crises. I expect completely different things from a woman.
I expect all that even from the hawk-nosed, hawk-eyed, intelligent, skinny girl who sat across from me. Obviously, she was intelligent. Obviously we had some shared strengths. I am always willing to let people grow out of the original way I judge them. Obviously Jeannette escaped the impact of a first impression, and I definitely learned not to expect comfort from my ex-wife. But every time I see a woman who crosses a very low threshold, I see the promise in them.
Perhaps I’m not that different from other guys except people don’t see how much a woman stirs me at the surface. Perhaps what makes me rare is that I have the cajones and mastery of language to tell you what a woman can stir. I even have the cajones to tell the woman with the spoon how deeply she’s stirred me.