Sad…

I really don’t feel like talking about being sad.

I guess that’s a good enough reason to talk about being sad.

I haven’t felt like writing anything in a while because I’ve been seriously looking at my life and have been quite unhappy with what I see.

Let’s be clear, I am not depressed. Continue reading

Always be just. Never be just anything.

Always be just. Never be just anything.

Without revealing my job or position, this will sound much vaguer than I’d like, so let’s draw a hypothetical situation to reveal the meaning.  It actually paints an even more digestible picture to discuss.

Let us imagine a world where I can tolerate the random disgusting things we all do enough to be a nurse and enough compassion to make people feel comfortable.  In this fictional world I had a customer ask me if I was a doctor, to which I said, “I’m just the nurse.”  This customer looked me dead in the eye and with the most compassionate look I’ve ever received said “Never be just anything.” Continue reading

…into the looking glass

I am alone.

For the first time in my life I really know what that means.  It is the most amazing and freeing and horrible feeling in the universe.

My entire life I’ve been guilty of thinking I understand other people.  And really, I do have a good handle on other people.  The latest revelation I have come to is that I’ve never understood  myself.

It has been my greatest strength for years and my greatest weakness for decades.  Continue reading

Don’t tell anyone about this post

As babies, we learn through smiles.

A smile is the first question we are asked and the first answer we learn.  A smile therefore becomes the first question we ask and the first answer we look for.

Who doesn’t remember faces poking in over the edge of their crib and smiling at them?  Okay, I guess most of us don’t remember that, but it’s probably not a stretch of the imagination to think that people did that.  It’s probably not a stretch to think that your parents smiled when you pooped in the potty. Continue reading