I have this wonderfully terrible way of drawing parallels. Like most things in my life I blame ADHD for this trend, but ultimately it’s just the way I am.
Have you ever picked a cat up and put it in a cardboard box? I put people in boxes and I am far from surprised when people choose not to be whatever belongs in the box I put them in. I can distinctly remember being a child in a refrigerator box, but I have no recollection of being a refrigerator. These minor and innocuous things guide my thinking in dramatic ways. Perhaps it is a function of a learning disability, but that really doesn’t matter.
What brings this to light is that I just put Jeannette in a box. Not serial killer style. I know you were worried there for a moment. I was.
I have boxed most of the people I deal with regularly. About 3 years ago, I met this girl and every time I see her, I see my mother. She is an angel, but she can smile and get people to do things too. She is much sneakier than my mother in that regard, even though they both have their own ways of manipulating people. About 2 years ago, I met this guy who falls into the same box as my oldest friend. Not only are they both great guys, they are about the only people I deal with who will call you “son.” Another girl I met about 6 months ago is, as of a week ago, in the same box as my sister. Both of them seem non-reactive to most things that happen, but then you’ll see a real smile. They are the two people who seem most capable of loving someone or something so much that the universe shrinks until there is nothing else.
By the way, that is not the box Jeannette just landed in.
She’s a weird one. I told her so, but I don’t think she understands. Weird one is a big box for me. She landed in a little section with this girl I’ve known from the time she was 6, to now at 20. They are both beautiful. Obviously the one I’ve known since she used to climb all over me and who I would literally throw in the air is doesn’t trigger romantic feelings at all, as she will always be my baby sister in most ways. Perhaps these emotions should be complex, but with her it is so simple. She is model tall and model built. She has a smile that can melt anyone and a heart that loves everyone. She falls in love too quickly. She is not scared of saying what she loves and hates, which is the hallmark of the geek. She can be the most frustrating person on the planet because she will never grow up. She loves so deeply that you forget she is a child. She loves so completely that she must be a child. And my god can she eat. Once she ate an entire family size bag of salad, just because she asked how much she could have and I told her “as much as you want.”(She was 16). If I hadn’t met her when she was nothing but bangs and teeth, there is no way I wouldn’t be in love with her.
Jeannette is all these things except model tall. I also didn’t meet her until she was much older. So clearly, this girl is everything I ever wanted. Luckily it is also very easy for me to realize that I can’t have her and be okay with it. I have a box for that. A very big box with a compartment for the cool kids.
One day though, I’m going to put someone in that box, they’re going to land in that special little compartment, and come flying out of there like a cat out of hell and demand I love them. I will.
In the meantime, I am really thinking of getting a cat. Odd.