Goodnight. Goodbye.

Goodnight.

Goodbye.

There are millions of people I have seen and at least thousands that have seen me.  There are hundreds I have spoken to.  To everyone in all of those categories and even those not in it, I wish you a good night.

If I should never again see you, know that there is a good chance that you have had an impact on my life.  This is not a bold emotional outcry, but a statistical fact.  I want to thank the guy that oiled the machine that printed my Taco Bell burrito wrapper.  I want to thank the guy in the BMW from the other day.  I want to thank the girl who sewed the shirt I wore yesterday in some god forsaken sweatshop.  It sounds silly but I mean it

More than what you’ve done for me, thank you for the insight into what I do for others.  My job is borderline retail.  I hate it.  I think I am pretty good at it, but I hate it.  Thank you to everyone who has done every small thing I depend on for showing me that my trivial tasks affect others.  It doesn’t give me much satisfaction but it somehow completes the circle.  What I do is important to the people I do it for, even if I hate it and if I just do it for the money.

We are all connected in the smallest ways to every person.  Certainly there are those that mean so much more and with whom we are so much closer, but we are all connected.  So tonight, to the thousands that lost their lives 12 years ago and those closest to them, goodnight.  Goodbye.  To everyone else, goodnight.  Goodbye.

I don’t know where or if I’ll be tomorrow.  I have no idea how much more rope I have.  It has taken 33 years, but now I finally see that that rope binds us all together.  If I should run out tonight or tomorrow, I will miss you all as I miss my own life.  If I don’t I hope to see you at the bar tomorrow night.   If I don’t see you at the bar tomorrow, remember that I told you goodnight and goodbye.  If I never see you again, remember that my last words to you were goodnight and goodbye.

Unless you know I love you.  Then let the last words you remember me ever saying be those.  When I love you, there is nothing else, so let the only words you ever remember me saying be “I Love You.” Forget me.  Forget the pain.  Forget the loss.  Remember only, that I love you.

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