Being a better Human Being

I can’t find it on my blog(if you do please let me know), but I’ve ranted about the silliness of equality.  It was probably from “One Step Forward.”  Since I can’t provide the link at the moment, let me give you the summary: Equal is not a word to compare men.  Equal means interchangeable and no two people are interchangeable.  Comparing people is a fool’s errand.

That being said, it is quite hard for me to justify saying that someone is a better human being.  However, that is precisely what I believe.  There are many ways in which we try to judge people and I think that this is really the only scale that can be used universally.  A scale that is not universal is no scale at all.

There are 3 people I want to shine a light on and use as examples when I describe this scale.

The first is the girl I casually refer to in my first blog post.  I didn’t mention her name or describe her there and will not here, but she is a force in and of herself.  Her gravity is her most alluring trait.  People speak so highly of her that it gives you pause and makes you wonder why.

The thing about her that people say in a manner of almost ridiculous passivity is that they “love” her.  “I just love the way she…” “I just love her…”  Many people just feel it like a passing shadow and refuse to accept that it is love.  Well, let me tell you, I love her.  I do not say it casually or in passing.  I do not need to say it with an exclamation point.  She loves the world in general and everyone in it individually by default.  Oh I have seen her mad.  I know at least one person she would jettison from this planet if she could.  But in general and specific, she pretty much loves everyone.

The second is an old and true friend who has the saddest story.  He did something for which there is no forgiveness.  I will never forgive his actions and neither will he.  He carries the rotting corpse of the monster who did these things inside him.  There is little left of this beast but the bones, but he will never lay those bones to rest.  He carries them with him for fear of the monster rising from the dead.  He carries them with him as a cross he must bear for all eternity.  I love the man to death, but as I said, I will never see him the same as before I knew.

The magic in him is how he has used that guilt.  That evil inside him has become a pledge to choose good.  It is not atonement and true forgiveness will never be his, because he will never forgive himself.  He really bears this cross for no one but himself.  He’s carried it so long that he rarely knows what it is that eats at him so.  I love him for it.  He is a statue I would gladly keep on my mantle.  His is a sacrifice worthy of worship; he is a man who will always live to repay his debt of sin, knowing that it will never be paid in full, but refusing to stop.

The third is the woman who has sparked many things in my life.  She will be the centerpiece of my 2013.  I’ve written about her and loosely to her as Jeannette.  I use the word love and attribute magical and mystical properties to her on a regular basis.  And I only do that, because it is all true.

She is a person who has been offered every excuse to fail and doesn’t.  She carries in her all the heroic potential of man and carries it lightly.  She is far from perfect.  She is no angel.  If you stood her beside 100 random women and made them all wear blank faces and hold the same pose, I probably wouldn’t choose her as the most attractive.  If you stood her beside a million women and let them do as they would, a line would form for her and I would certainly be among her admirers.  Her beauty is not skin deep but bursts from within.  It is, as my favorite author explains, her “sense of life.”  Certainly I am an intellectual and emotionally liberated guy so I give her beauty these words.  Even the simplest of men feels it and attributes it to his basest urges, but I know that even for them it is not skin deep.  True beauty affects us all and comes from within.

These 3 are better human beings than most of us.  None of them is perfect.   None of them thinks they are perfect, or will be or tries to be.  These 3 people hold themselves to the highest standard: their own.  The first loves by default even though she’s been hurt and knows people may be unworthy.  The second seeks forgiveness from and through himself.  The third will fight tooth and claw to win and will claim her victory without looking down on anyone.  I don’t think she even knows how to look down on anyone or how to look up to anyone.  Each of them lives in the world they create about themselves and does their best.

We use the words “being human” to justify our failures and mistakes.  We use the words to explain feeling something when we know we shouldn’t.  What we really ought to do is understand what being human means and work on it.  Being human is about being your flaws and owning your victories and defeats.  Each of us has a different path in different dimensions than anyone else.  The best among us live in their own worlds and choose to make it better in the dimensions they see.

None of them would use these words, but there are eastern cultures who describe humanity very simply.  It is as if we are each manifestations of the perfect who are simply deluded into believing we are flawed.  How we choose to cope with these imagined imperfections is what reveals our humanity.   You can choose to be a better human being and I highly recommend it.

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