Falling

You live your entire life talking about the things you want to do…
one day.
One day comes and goes and eventually you realize that it is
today.
There are the things you say you’ll never do and the things you say you must do.
Then there are the things you said you’d never do again.
You check your harness, twice.
You make sure that all your junk is in the right place so that you don’t get crushed
You think your heart is going to race.
You think it’s going to be terrifying.
You think you’re going to be sick.
You think you’re going to make a mess.
You spend the entire day until then thinking of nothing else.
One hour.
The hour goes so quick and eventually you realize it is time to go.
Now.
Your heart does not race.
You do not feel sick.
You feel no fear.
The thinking is over.
You sit down.
You get up.
You walk to the door.
You look out.
You step forward.
The sky is blue.
The world comes into view and you quietly and slowly shout “oh my god”
with no capitals or punctuation
It is not a scream or a fear, but a realization.
You don’t know how long ago you stepped out the door.
You didn’t know you were upside down.
You don’t know your falling.
All you see is the world.
At exactly the right moment, it slows down.
Something has changed, but it hasn’t hit you what it is.
The world is still there, but you can see more details.
It is coming at you slower, but richer.
Your feet touch the ground and the world will never be the same.

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