What Does the Fox Say?

I know so many idiots who think Robin Hood stole from the rich to give to the poor.

Robin Hood is the story of one sexy fox that lives to do whatever he wants, which happens to be a foxy lady who is all prim and proper on the outside but a genuine beauty on the inside.  If you didn’t understand that when you watched the movie as a child, you need to watch the real version of the film again.  If you still think it is about stealing from the rich, you are an idiot and should just stop reading this.  You should also stop reading in general, because it is dangerous and people will probably get hurt.

For the rest of you I do want to explain the significance of realizing that Disney’s Robin Hood could have stepped out of an Ayn Rand novel.  I know I have alot of friends who think I’m a brainwashed idiot when it comes to Ayn Rand.  I am finally going to take a moment to explain this and I hope some of you bother to read this.  Ayn Rand talks about selfishness as a valid primary motive and rallies against selflessness.  If you actually read her work and look for the truth that her heroes reveal, you will be forced to face that the thing she’s wrong about is naming it selfishness.

In the confines of the English language, we bind ourselves to two the words ‘selfish’ and ‘selfless’.  Neither is the correct lot of man.  Ayn Rand’s heroes are neither selfish nor selfless.  They do not live for others, they do not only concern themselves with their selves.  When you “walk across snow covered plains” to escape communist rule, you hug the word selfish.  You kiss it.  You let it get you pregnant.  You do anything to protect yourself from the word selfless.  So, I easily forgive her for marrying the word selfish to the heroes she creates, but it is not the right word.

Rand briefly uses the character Ragnar in her most famous work.  He steals from the government and returns the money to the people who earned it.  This character is referred to several times, but his actual appearance is very brief, however he is one of “the three”, the characters who by conscious decision and concerted action change the world.  If there was a better tribute to what “Robin Hood” means to me, it is Ragnar.  What makes it better is that Ragnar’s main monologue is the rallying cry to destroy every memory of Robin Hood.  He clearly states that as his life’s work.

Luckily for me, I do not remember the Robin Hood that Rand describes through Ragnar.  I remember Robin Hood as Rand created Ragnar.  I cannot speak for the original folk tales or any other specific version, but Disney did a good job with their version.  Maid Marian is “hot” and loves children and cares about everyone.  The government is horrible and corrupt and “stealing money.”  Robin Hood is kind and generous with anything he has but knows what he wants and will work his little buns off for the love of a lovely lady.  He is noble and kind, selfish and selfless.  He is a hero and a man.

Perhaps the lesson ought to be that there is a middle path and that is the correct one.  Perhaps we shouldn’t hail stealing from the rich to give to the poor as noble.  Perhaps Rand shouldn’t rant and rave about how evil that idea is.  Perhaps I shouldn’t call all of you people who don’t understand this, idiots.  But really, writers have to make a point.  So, let the lesson of robin hood be this: Steal from the thieves and love a beautiful and amazing foxy lady because it is all you really want in life.

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