The other day, two of my Facebook friends, who were once friends in real life posted some lovey dovey trope about “the couples that are meant to be.” And as the mushy single guy who’s always respected these two individually and have never really gotten close enough to see their nuts and bolts I am revolted. Not the way you think I am, but I want to explain… First, let’s start with the post:
Right away, the keen mind notices multiple interpretations. However the mind that is slow or mired with love only sees the primary interpretation, “We’ve been through so much stuff, we must be ‘meant to be.’” This is the wrong message.
Now let’s go through the p’s and q’s of this message: “p → q”. Yes boy’s and girls, that is “math” in all it’s discrete beauty. Let us suppose that the meaning of the message is “If we are meant to be, then we will go through things meant to tear us apart and come out stronger.” What this means is that if we go through rough patches and do not survive it is impossible that we were predestined to be together (~p→~q for those of you who read math).
If we read it the other way, “If we go through things meant to tear us apart and come out stronger, we are meant to be,” we have a different statement altogether. This means that if we are not meant to be, then we won’t get through the tough stuff”(Modus Tollens again).
As a romantic realist, let me lay the real truth bare, very simply. You two or awesome people who’ve found each other, discovered how horrible the other secretly is and made each other stronger and better and built a relationship on working things out. You’re not scared of the hard work and you’ve been together long enough to grow enough faith in each other to commit to ever harder works. I think you two will last forever. I don’t think it was the hand of God, but each of your awesomenesses and weirdnesses working together. Give yourselves and each other a little more credit. Trust me, that perspective is much more romantic and rewarding than “meant to be.”
Or maybe neither of you is as awesome as you seemed. I didn’t know you guys really well. Maybe you are just idiots who were “meant to be” so you treat each other like jerks and it all just works out. But that wouldn’t sound as good in my blog voice, so we’ll just pretend you guys are as cool as I remember you to be.