You know what I really want in a girl?

So, The Bloodhound Gang was invoked.  I write this, not in their defense, but in defense of Jim Carey and Jonathan Swift and whoever writes jokes for Carlos Mencia.

So, let us jump right in with analyzing the lyrics to “Three Point One Four.”  The key to understanding this “poem” is in the “punch line” that occurs right before the chorus.  The song is two “verses” that climax with the punch line and then go into the chorus (Verse, punch line, chorus, verse, punch line, chorus).  First, let’s warm up our minds with an alternate version of the punch line:

“You know what I really want in a man?  Myself.”

A woman can say that and it sounds perfectly sensible.  It sounds intelligent.  However, as The Bloodhound Gang is a group of all males, the line actually reads:

“You know what I really want in a girl?  Me.”

Now, it is suddenly dirty.  Now, as a writer, I chose to give you the alternate version first.  I did that on purpose, because it makes it easier to see the duality because the sexual connotation in the second version makes it harder to see the sex-neutral version.  Sex is powerful.  Once our minds get turned on to sex, it is hard not to see sexual connotations in everything.  Certainly plenty of the song is genuinely about sex and physical.  There is even shallow stuff in there.  I know you’re as shocked as I was.  Let’s focus just on meaningful lines.

4: My ex was beautiful but not smart
5: It was my error, she never came through and supported me
7: She wasn’t treating me right, but I told her I loved her and then she treated me like she was a servant
8: I didn’t want a servant, so I kind of fell out of love with her
9: She’d wake me up early, but it wasn’t for church or sex
10: I’m not a smart man
11: I’m white but this applies to people of all races
12: I love my mother
13: Even though she made stupid decisions
15: I want a girl that is nice and pretty and lovable
16: because that is the kind of person I am

21-25: Older women will have sex more freely, because they really want companionship
26: That’s not important to me
27: I’d rather have a healthy free thinker
30: She may complain about things I think are unimportant, but I can deal with that
31: She can get as angry as she feels appropriate, but I don’t push her to it because it excites me
32: I’m not looking for kinky
33: I just want a free thinker
34: Who will use her vast intelligence to protect my feelings
35: And teach me
36: because that is the kind of person I am

Now, that you‘ve read the second meaning of the lyrics before playing the song, I passionately urge you to go read the lyrics with this meaning in mind and listen to the song.  You may not see it at first.  You may feel it is a huge stretch.  It’s hard to deny the existence of this second meaning, however.

I have never been able to get into South Park, because I have trouble with the deeper level meaning the writers are trying to convey.  This doesn’t mean I don’t respect the power of “stupid funny.”    For me there is a magic to the duality of meaning that some people and works of art achieve.  South Park is just like Marcel Duchamp’s “Fountain.”  It’s worthless to me, but I guess it’s priceless to some people.  For me, Bloodhound Gang often achieves a duality of voice that I can hear.

I hated Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura.  When “The Mask” came out, I saw his ability to play multiple facets of characters at the same time.  After that, Ace Ventura eventually became palatable and eventually great.  This really does explain my love of female fronted metal.  It started with Nightwish and their mastery of metal strings and drums with the siren Tarja Turenen, but the pinnacle of duality for me is Alisa.  Look at this picture of her and think about what she sounds like.


Then go check out this video.

Then read the lyrics.

Then watch this video.


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