I can listen to the blues. I find them comforting, after a fashion.
Today’s daily prompt is about dealing with the blues. It’s a funny topic for me. I am certainly guilty of eating the sadness to numbness. I blame my mother for that. She taught me to eat when I was happy and to eat when I am sad. I certainly have a few pounds to show for it.
However, I have discovered a tremendous secret trick. I need the food to deal with emotions of all kinds. The magic is that I do not need to eat it. I have discovered how awesome it is to make other people fat. When I am feeling happy or sad or almost anything, I bake. From scratch. It is awesome. I have learned to do this in the form of cupcakes and then just go and give them out to people or leave a tray at work. Making other people happy and genuinely impressing them gives me so much joy. I am constantly experimenting with new cupcakes, though my favorite ones so far are my Apple Pie Cupcakes. I am working on learning how to make white cake now because I have this idea for Cookie Dough Ice-cream Cupcakes.
I know after this talk of baking you think I’m one of those big macho guys who has to lie and say I don’t cry, but the truth is, I don’t. Not often. There have been 2 particular movies that will bring me to tears and a few personal events in my life that have brought me there, but crying is just not a normal release for me. There was also a campout/birthday party where a bunch of us were wrestling and I got punched in the nose and apparently was ruled out as the winner because it caused tearing, even though it didn’t slow me down. But really, I appreciate the emotions of sadness and joy and the helplessness and vulnerability of love much more than most people will admit. Crying just isn’t natural for me.
There are days that I am sad and I just sit there in my sadness. I appreciate the fact that I can be miserable. It feels like such a “#firstworldproblems” kind of thing. I have a roof over my head and a garden in the backyard. I can’t really afford the “simple” life I’m living, but I have family that is in a position to help me get by and am in school to be able to fix my situation. But when I feel down and out about where my life is right now, I appreciate the fact that 10 years ago I had my dream job. I had it and it fell away. I was capable and a star. I deserved it. So no matter how hard it will be to convince the world to give me another shot at it, I know I’ll make it.
In the meantime, it’s comforting to know that scraping by and having to ask for help and feel indebted to my family makes me feel terrible. I like that. If I borrow money, my soul burns until I can pay it back and that is not a bad thing. So my common source of misery these days just affirms that I am not in fact a freeloading scumbag.
So, although I do cope with problems through food, the real “blues” are just a soulful reflection of myself. If I had any worthwhile advice about dealing with sadness, that would be it. Figure out why the big things are horrible and find the best things about it. And don’t worry about the little stuff. Cope with it. Self medicate(not literally, if you can avoid it). But don’t dig to deep into the little sads. The real things that make you question yourself, deserve a beautiful and soulful, considered response. That is what the blues are about.