Worlds Collide

So yesterday, when I began writing, I began with the purpose of asking a question. There is a fellow blogger I have been following for a little while, probably in that creepy creeper way, because I am not certain she has read any of my stuff. She has blogged quite a bit about her relationship adventures and I have become quite curious.

 
So, dear Ms L or shall I call you D, since I barely know you, would you ever mix the worlds of blogging and dating? I am certainly not asking you out, because you live in Chicago and run and have a cat and it would never work. I am fairly certain that we are both better off not meeting in person and certainly not dating, even though I love crawling around the little pieces of your heart and mind that you share.
You come to the blogosphere and share so many little slivers of your romantic life And they really are just tiny slivers, but I am sure it comes with a sense of freedom, to vent all the anger and hurt and frustration as well as the overflowing joy and happiness into a completely separate world. I absolutely understand the joy of having a dreamed up world with real humans who share themselves openly without it backwashing into the real world.
However, I am sure there are at least a few people you know in the real world who are aware of your blog and have probably read at least a few bits and pieces. How do you deal with that little blurring of the lines? Have your romantic and blogging worlds ever collided?
I know these are brutally direct questions and you are more than welcome to never respond in any way. And I’ve even posted these as an open musing in the blogosphere because although your words, and the pieces of you I have seen between your words, make it more poignant for me, the questions really apply to everyone on here.
I for one, cannot imagine not sharing this slice of my life with a significant other. I’d certainly make sure she was significant first, but it certainly feels a little dangerous for me. I just really wonder where others in this community are on that topic. I would keep the drama out of it and never use this as a platform to sling some arrows and spew venom, but I’d feel like I was a liar if she didn’t know that I was an open e-book .

Thoughts? Comments?

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2 thoughts on “Worlds Collide

  1. I feel awful that I haven’t paid more attention to your blog. I know you’ve commented on mine here and there but I had no idea you liked reading it as much as you say you do. I’m flattered, of course.

    And now to your question…only 4 people that I know have read my blog. 2 of them are friends of mine and I showed them how to find it, the other two are no longer in my life (my ex and his daughter) and I had no intention of having them read it, but my ex found it first and then his daughter did. Whether they’re still reading it is as good a guess as any, but I honestly don’t care if they are.

    Now, because I know these 4 people are reading it do I censor my writing? No. There are a few posts that I’ve made private because after writing them I decided no one but me should read them, but anything I post publicly is written with completely honesty and with no hesitation.

    Would I ever allow a romantic interest to read my blog? Honestly, I don’t really know. I guess it would depend on the person and the relationship. I say this only because sometimes it’s good to have at least one thing that you don’t need to share with the person you’re with. And I think keeping my blog away from them is an okay thing to do. I don’t feel it would make me dishonest toward them since I began writing it before they came along. But maybe that would change. I really couldn’t say right now.

    Mr. Wisconsin, my most recent romantic interest, knows of my blog but he never asked to read it and I don’t think he’s ever tried to find it. Not that he could. And I really appreciated the fact that he didn’t pester me about reading it. It told me he respected that private part of me and left me alone about it. If we were to get back together and he were to ask me if he could read it, I don’t know if I would say yes. It’s a hard thing to know until you’re actually in the situation, I guess. For now, I like that my blog is anonymous to the people that I know (except for 2 of those 4 that I mentioned) and I plan to keep it that way for as long as I can. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll do a big reveal and you’ll get to see what I look like. Until then, you’ll have to take the small slivers that I offer.

    And now I’m going to read your words because you’ve gotten me curious about who it is that “love[s] crawling around the little pieces of [my] heart and mind that [I] share.”

    – L

    • There certainly is nothing to feel bad about, even if you go poking about my blog and find you cannot stand my voice(s). I am fairly certain that not every author I enjoy reading would appreciate my writing. That is one of the dualities I really appreciate about art in general.

      That being said, thank you for your response. I am very glad to hear you feel that way and that Mr. Wisconsin respected that boundary. I am really interested in the exposure you must have felt when an ex and his daughter found it unintentionally, or at least without your intention. I have very few readers actually, but on one day in December I had 19 “distinct viewers” and 97 views. The last 77 views to different posts were from #19. I felt violated and had to wrestle with the idea that I had put all those genuine pieces of me on the internet and some adoring fan or creepy creep had just run around looking at everything.

      All the possibilities came stampeding through my mind. My boss had asked me about my blog earlier that day. I had sent “Jeannette” a link once; had she decided to see what a creep I really was? This girl I met 15 years ago(and haven’t seen in at least 12 years) had commented on a blog link I posted to Facebook; it must be her. I confronted my boss and it wasn’t her. I confronted the other girl and…. I convinced myself it couldn’t have been Jeannette.

      The bottom line is that I have no idea, but I had to wrestle with the realization that this is not a private piece of me. As readily as I share the vulnerable and intimate details of myself, I feel like I’m dancing naked on a stage.

      If my girl was dancing naked on a stage somewhere… That is the deep dark issue that my questions wrestle with. Is it simple for you to have someone you share your life with, but go dance naked on a stage, and keep those worlds separated?

      It is one thing to dance on a stage, but is a conversation like this, with stage names and personal questions, shared on some dark, half private corner of the internet more like a lapdance?

      Oh well, I guess all lines get blurry at some point.

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