Jealous – feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages. “he grew jealous of her success”
Envy – a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck. Or a desire to have a quality, possession, or other desirable attribute belonging to (someone else).
Resentful – feeling or expressing bitterness or indignation at having been treated unfairly.
The core of jealousy is resentment. I bring this up because I had to look up 3 different words to figure out what jealousy really is. I guess I do pretty good job avoiding jealousy. I don’t think it is a thing that I am prone to. At least not the way it is thrown around today.
I feel a deep longing when I see my friends that have found partners. I don’t resent it at all though. When I read this prompt and thought of where my mind is, I thought I’d have to write about the newest of my close friends who has only recently found this amazing girl. I’ve only met her twice, but it’s impressive; she vibrates at that same frequency that he does, if you can grasp the metaphor, so it’s impressive to see. It does make me long for someone on my frequency, but not for her, so there is no resentment. I don’t even know that it is discontented longing. I am not satisfied with the single life, but that is not a result of seeing happy couples. I am not satisfied and it has nothing to do with her. I am not satisfied with the single life and this is a long considered position of a relatively stable platform.
I deserve a wonderful partner. I want a partner in life. I want a partner in crime. None of these are questionable. I do not doubt that I will find an amazing person to share a dance with for the rest of my life. I will find a girl whose nose will crinkle at all the right moments. She will be great at all the right things. She will be terrible at all the right things. She will not be afraid of the words, “I love you.” She will look back lovingly at old loves and appreciate that I do the same. She will know that loving old loves, is not longing for them. She will be happy to rest her head on my chest while we read our own books. She will want me to visit her in her worlds and will be excited when I invite her to my worlds. Together we’ll make the universe.
None of that is jealousy.
I don’t wish I was taller or shorter. I wish I was more fit, but I don’t look at a guy’s six pack and say “I want that”. I look at Nicole Scherzinger and say “I want to match that.” I want to look like I belong next to a beauty like that. I can’t even say “I want that girl” just that I want to be able to stand next to a beautiful woman and not feel out of place. I don’t look at the Hiltons and wish I was born into money. I do wish to make millions. I want to make money, sure, but I don’t resent not having it. I regret not earning enough.
I guess I’m just not a jealous person. I have faults enough, but I really don’t think this is one of them.