Dropped the bomb

So, I did it. I told Jeannette everything.

She doesn’t feel the same way.

Hopefully she understands the immense amount of thought and consideration I went through before talking to her today.

Hopefully she understands the truth in my statement that I hope she and I can talk about anything or nothing all night long 20 years from now.

I make friendships that last decades. I really hope this will be one of those.

Jeannette if you’re reading this, I mean it as much here and forever as there and now.

You are a rare and amazing person. If you ever need a reminder, let me know.

Regardless, this is what I needed to do.  I can feel the gears in my mind unbinding.

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2 thoughts on “Dropped the bomb

  1. Admitting feelings to someone is just about the bravest thing a person can do. You know why? Because not only are you being honest with yourself but you’re being honest with them, all the while not knowing what they might say. That is BIG and it’s not something people do enough of every day. You did it and while it may not have turned out the way you had hoped, you should still feel good about what you did because you, my friend, were unabashedly honest with how you felt. And that’s something to be commended on.

    • It’s actually a little different than the traditional way. I wasn’t actually asking her out and was half hoping to leave that door neither shut nor open, but ajar. I wanted her to know how I felt so I could stop stopping myself from just telling her how awesome she is. I love telling my friends when they are awesome and when they mess up.

      As I started to feel that whole 20 year friendship growing, it became difficult, so I simply said that I kept falling in love with her and have encouraged her to check out some of what she’s inspired here. I was hoping to make her “my model” and deal with the idea of romantic entanglements at some point in the future. She is definitely the centerpiece of much of my poetry, though I recognize that her role in it is largely abstract. I also urged her to recognize that my feelings date back to exactly 02/09/13 and that if I haven’t been creepy since then, there really shouldn’t be anything to worry about(except perhaps that I know the exact day).

      So yes, it took balls and a backbone, and hopefully it won’t scare the poor girl too much.

      Thank you L.

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