I am so excited right now.
It has been literally years since I have felt that there was someone in this universe made just for me. I don’t mean made by some old man in a red suit cracking whips across the backs of elves or even made by some man behind a curtain. I mean that for the first time in years, I have found a rock that I want to carry around and show people how awesome it is.
When I was young, and this is a story my mother incessantly brings up, I would carry rocks in my backpack. It was generally small rocks, but they each had some special random characteristic that I liked. They were SMALL ROCKS MOM!
In the summer after 5th grade, I would take my bike over to my “old” elementary school and, launch myself off the speed bumps. One particular day, I caught the sidewalk in a weird angle and fell into the street hard enough that my pedal chipped the blacktop and a large piece of the surface broke off. I limped home with my bike in one hand and a piece of the street in the other. My socks were red and my knees were shredded. When my mom saw “the rock” she thought I had simply graduated to larger rocks.
What had happened was I had graduated to bigger thoughts. I had a piece of the school I had graduated from, a piece of the road that carried me and took me places. I had a piece of history. That rock lived in my room until I moved out. I wish I still had it.
I have recently started talking to someone and although I haven’t met her or even gotten to talking about meeting, I feel great. I am realistic enough to not put the horse before the cart and get all entangled. I am romantic enough to tell you that it is awe inspiring to consider the roads and bumps that have brought each of us to this conversation. The similarities are great. The differences are great. The conversation is great. I won’t go into detail about her too much, but it is awesome to communicate with someone that can compose full paragraphs and link them together and read responses that do the same.
God, I never thought I would find that. Of all the things that could ever come of a budding relationship, nothing will replace the spark of joy I feel in being able to really free myself from the 140 character attention span. God! It is amazing. If I never hear from her again, at least I will know that it is possible.
On that note, the rest of online dating is depressing and I’m done. I have given her the means to reach me and I hope for at least a friendship with enriching and wonderful conversation. And if it turned into more, that’d be grand.