i dreamt of your face
all night i held my eyes shut
knowing i had you


Nothing at All

A few years ago, I was off on a military training event for 2 weeks in a foreign country. I don’t talk about my military life because it has never defined me, and I truly honor and respect the need for limitations on the spreading of details of that life. But this is a story I want to share, because it is something that has been incredibly important to me for the last few years and I hope it is important to a certain woman. Continue reading


I am so sick of looking to tomorrow… so sick of looking at yesterday.  There was a long time when “today” was the worst time of my life and looking back and forward was all I had.  Really, I miss the days when I could look into a woman’s eyes and forget yesterday and tomorrow.  I miss those moments when it’s just me and her and whatever that magical thing is when it is just me and her in eternity and it doesn’t matter if time has stopped or is moving forward at a million miles an hour.  It has been too long.  “Now” is a wonderful thing that I have only recently remembered how to enjoy.  Now, I am looking to enjoy that timeless eternity.  Some days it is still hard to make myself stop and appreciate what is right in front of me when I spent so long shutting my eyes to where I had ended up.

So… I am sorry for the ridiculous conversation of last night.

This is why I write.  This is why I don’t talk to people.  This is why I’m single.  This is why I take ADHD medication for social reasons.
This is why I’m careful of who I talk to late at night.

But if late at night is the only time we can talk…  If I have to wake up early, so that I can’t take my medication and get back a little bit of my filter… If that is just how things are going to be… You should know that I am usually sorry for how I say things… and I have no control… That is the scary thing about me…

If I can slow myself down and read things twice before hitting send, I actually sound pretty intelligent and things seem to make more sense to myself and everyone else.

Please believe that I am sorry if it sounded like I was looking for more than a moment.  I am only looking for a moment.

I also really know how amazing it is when the moment is now and forever.


one in a million

The odds that you will find someone perfect for you
Is 1 in 1,000,000
The odds that she will find someone perfect for her
Is 1 in 1,000,000

The odds that you will both find someone perfect for yourselves
Is 1 in 1,000,000,000,0000

There are 7,125,000,000 people on this planet
There are 7,125 people that are perfect for you on this planet
There are 7,125 people that you are perfect for on this planet
There is only a .0000000001% chance that we would be perfect

I like my odds
Sure it sounds like you’ll never hit the jackpot
Yet I’ll take that gamble, happily and every time

Second prize is something amazing that you don’t have to work for
Third prize is something perfect that you have to work for
Fourth prize is something amazing that you have to work for

If you end up with any of the consolation prizes
You’ll never feel like it’s anything but the jackpot

Let’s roll the dice



How does one choose a red wine?

You pick up a cold glass bottle, tinted so that you cannot see the color.
You read a label and get an idea of where she comes from.
You know what year she was made and you think it tells you something.
If you do enough research, you know what kind of grapes she comes from.
Was she raised under the Tuscan sun? Continue reading