Aside

phoenix drowned

i was a phoenix
rising from the flame
again and again
but the rains
extinguished a flame
forever

life has brought me rain
storm after storm
calm between
devastation gave me a chance
to rebuild and regrow

life has taught me joy
that grows from dirt and rain
rising from mud
through rubble

life has shown me pain
is the precursor
to relief
and i’ve learned
to take it in stride

but those days are over
i will not rebuild this home
this hurricane
is my last

i leave
i leave it behind
people reach out their arms
they try to stop me

“life isn’t over”
“don’t give up”
“it gets better”
they try to stop me

i just kept walking
but the people didn’t stop
they wouldn’t let me give up
they didn’t want me to quit

“look at all you’ve survived”

i am done
i refuse to survive
this life is over

i quit
keep the house
keep the car
keep the money

it’s been years

and now they see it
those friends of mine
who tried to stop me
because they loved me

i have taken
all life has given
and i’ve burned it
to the ground myself
and the rains
have washed the ash clean

quitting wasn’t about dying
it was about living
instead of surviving
it’s about never rebuilding again
but building forever

a tool forged by fire
should be put to use
a ship that has weathered storms
should sail free.

no more the lives of a phoenix
no more rising from the ashes

it is time to simply rise
like bread
like the sun
like a man in the morning light

they see it now
they see what my words
could never have painted

the flames are gone
the rains are gone
the light remains

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