Aside

saved

my voice has been caught
in my throat
for months
choking
gagging
dying
then i looked for it
and it wasn’t there
the pain in my chest
had stopped
the heart attack killed me
months ago
i searched
for mouth to mouth
resuscitation
girls and beauty
art and music
and was saved
in soul to soul
conversation

Aside

weak

i spent all day yesterday not calling you,
not texting you and not messaging you.
like a jerk, like a stupid man,
i am proud that i said nothing…
because it was the hardest thing i did all day…
but space is needed, even if not cheap…

space for me and space for you
space for me to think of you
space for you to think of me
space for us to think of us
even if there never has been an us
and never will be

i don’t know what tomorrow brings
i don’t care where today ends
all i know is not calling you
made me feel strong
made me be strong

and today i am weak.
for today i must speak.

Aside

empty lot

alone in a warm field
building razed, burned to the ground
soil has been tilled, turned over and torn
the good, the bad, all that’s left mixed
compost, fertilizer, rubble
plastic, glass, concrete
shards of a life scattered
until someone else comes along
and sees a plot of land to claim
a new life to build
a new home
a new family
dreams grow on rubble

Aside

en garde

en garde
swords clashing
the sting of words
marriage,
a dance to the death
riposte
parry
love
combat of hearts
thrust
thrust
disengage
lunge
win
rip off the masks
congratulate the winner
thank the loser
back to life
back to the better half