I was driving through a toll booth at 3:51 AM. There had been a cop following me for the last few miles. As soon as I went through the toll in the express lane, “25 MPH DO NOT STOP,” he flashed his lights on. Steven Tyler crooned: “It’s Amazing…With the blink of an eye you finally see the light”
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Dress Codes

Why is it that people don’t send their little boys to school in midriff tops and speedos? If they did, do you think the boys would be sent home and asked to comply with the school dress code? All you feminist parents, please let me know how that works out for ya. Remember the basketball shorts from the 70’s? Whatever happened to those? When did this oppression begin!

Every now and then I see posts about a girl getting sent home or forced to change because she violated dress code with a skirt that was too short, or some such nonsense. Immediately there is the response that this is unfair and oppressive. Someone always invokes Hitler. Rape, I mean rape. Someone always invokes rape, because you can’t argue against a rapist. They may as well invoke Hitler. Oh yeah, they do that too.

You know what people, I am going to argue on the side of Hitler and rapists today.

First of all, when people say that dress codes are creating a victim blaming culture, I just want to laugh at the hypocrisy or thank you. Do you teach your children to walk around and show off all of their nice jewelry to every person on the street? Do you teach your children to pull out fat rolls of money and count it in public? Do you teach your children to leave windows open and doors ajar? None of those things create thieves, but they alter victim selection of existing predators. You can argue against centuries of evolution and simple logic, but there are patterns that influence victim selection and I hope to teach my children to live within the safest parameters of the herd. We all feel sorry for the slowest gazelle, because we “know what’s coming.” That is not blame. That is not saying that slow gazelles make lions out of house cats. It is a simple fact and if you want to teach your children to be the slowest gazelle or the lowest hanging fruit, go ahead. It puts more of your kids between predators and mine and I am okay with that. I’d be absolutely happy slaughtering the predators too, but in the meantime and because we’ll never know if we got them all, I want to thank you for teaching your gazelle to stop and look in the mirror and whine about the rules.

Secondly, Hitler advocated uniforms and uniformity in an attempt to create forces that were unified. The uniformity helped to iron out wrinkles in his financial and social plans for the country. By creating that uniformity he was creating a more “fair” and “equal” society. That is one of the primary goals of uniformity and of income redistribution. There are similarities and differences between fascism and socialism, but this really isn’t one. It also doesn’t seem the conservatives and republicans post too much railing against school dress codes. Perhaps the liberals and democrats should honor their roots and stop using examples that are similar to themselves as examples of where things went wrong. I accept that you are entitled to your opinion and the military industrial complex and big business government are horrible things, but figure out how to use those as examples instead of someone who would be a card carrying democrat if he wasn’t trying to seize control of the country by regulating business and disarming the populace… oh wait…

If you can invoke Hitler and victim blaming as a valid argument against dress codes, you can’t really just dismiss the previous points, as “silly” as they may sound to you, because then you can be dismissed with the word “silly” too. You brought it up. However, if you think that the initial claims are silly and are willing to dismiss them, let’s get on to the important thing here.

My children will be taught that their bodies are not what others should like about them. They will be taught to be active and fit(not skinny) because this is the body they are going to be living in for a while. They will be taught that if someone sees your face before your soul, there is no need to worry about if they even think, never mind what about. If anyone sees their body before their face, my children will be taught to avoid the animals.

It breaks my heart that we live in a world that is going to try and teach my daughter that she should wear less clothing than my son. We are making a world where that is the norm and the measure of progressiveness. What is wrong with us? I hope I never have to explain to my children how victim selection happens at college parties, but the drunkest girl with the shortest skirt is the lowest hanging fruit. If my son ever grabs the lowest hanging fruit he’s dead. Not just to me, either. It will mean that I raised a predator and someone else raised a low hanging fruit. My failure will be the worse, by far. If my daughter ever becomes the lowest hanging fruit, I will have failed, horribly, but not as much. It would be nice if things weren’t that simple, but they are.

I am a man who has spent my formative years in a culture that has rapidly and steadily devolved into sexualizing women’s fashion and somehow converted the feminist movement that burned bras and sought equality into a movement that would be happy with women wearing only bras after having their breasts “augmented.” Where did we go wrong? Everywhere. It is all wrong. I mean I see a great pair of legs and I get a little interested. I think women wearing little skirts and showing some skin is attractive. I do. I won’t lie. But, really, I find it distracting from the important stuff that comes across from the neck up. I think creating women who understand that their greatest assets are above the neck would be great. I love girls who express their freedom in their words and actions and not their clothing and make up. Certainly physical attractiveness is nice, but if it was what mattered to me, the internet is full of substitutes.

Instead of railing against dress codes, can we start railing against the cultural norms that have made it sexist? Lets create a culture where little boys and little girls want to run and play together. Let’s create a culture where 2 year old girls aren’t in 2 piece bathing suits. I don’t care if they’re topless or fully covered at that age. This thing where it’s “oh so cute” that the little girls are in bikinis is part of the problem. It’s not cute, it’s creating a culture of divergent fashion norms that is unhealthy for all of us. Let’s get back to what gender equality really means and let’s get back to the world where kids are kids.

Sometimes the freedom to create inequality is used to create inequality. Pick your poison, if you want, but I think we should balance the two. Let us raise children who choose to be equal and fair of their own free choice. Let us raise children who do not need dress codes to tell them what parts of themselves to value. Let us raise children who do not need to rail against rules just because they are there. Let us raise our children up above the society we’ve let come into existence.

Bury a Dream

I have reached a new point in life.

Two of my dearest friends have buried fathers in the last few months. I didn’t really wish anyone a happy Father’s Day yesterday. Not even my own dad. I don’t even know how to apologize to him, but I will. I’ll make up some stupid excuse and wish him a happy Father’s Day today.
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She gave me a pen

“She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen.”

Certainly, John Cusack has played the whiny loser in a million sappy chick flicks, or at least some of the big ones that defined a decade, but this is from one of his most iconic roles. I have seen the picture of him holding a boombox over his head outside of a girl’s window a few times, but I didn’t know that this was THAT movie. Continue reading

Online Dating?

So, I was talking to a friend on this past weekend and I mentioned Jeannette and the signs of the universe. I was expecting to be called a “faggit” or a retard(in that endearing army way), but was instead given a validating and eye opening discussion.

Suffice it to say that on top of the other reasons that I had already realized Jeannette was not the one for me, I was informed in clear English why the mechanics of a young relationship would never work with people like she and I.

Bottom line, I went to a funeral two weeks ago which had profound effects on me. Ken was a great man and I do not disrespect his memory at all, but I tip the hat to him once again for reuniting me with an old friend. I’ve known her for 18 years and she’s been with this guy for 10 years and I sat and talked to him for hours and I finally get it.

You see, he’s the kind of person that makes 20 year friends and those are the kind of people I want. It made me realize that Jeannette should be a 20 year friend. I really hope she becomes one.

The universe also gave me another sign. I joined OKC almost 2 years ago. I attempted to contact 2 women on there and it never went anywhere. While I was having this conversation, I got a message on my phone through the OKC app. It’s interesting because I still don’t know if the app has to be open for me to get a message or if I was listed as “online” or what. But there it was, despite the fact that I haven’t actually looked for anyone on there in ages and even then not much. Thank you universe.

At 1 AM on a Saturday night while I am searching for some truth about love and relationships, a cute girl sends me a message about waffles. So I checked out her profile a little bit and I was fascinated. First of all, she looks absolutely different in the different pictures she’s posted, but cute. The first one is a little mischievous but inviting, “let’s have a flirty but deep conversation” look. A couple of pictures that say “look at me, I’m a normal person.” The last one however just says “I’m comfortable with who I am and it’s all good.” I should find some more pics of myself at some point and toss em up there.

Much more importantly she seems an almost bipolar vegetarian and enjoys baking for the same reason I do. She seems to have similar mischievous thoughts and it is kind of exciting and worrisome that getting to know her may make me a little bit more of a troublemaker than I already am. She seems deep enough and intelligent enough to understand me. I am not sure I am interesting enough for her to bother.

So anyway, I’m going to go bake some white cake cupcakes with cinnamon and hint of nutmeg and fill them with my stove top apple pie filling. And frost them with an attempt at fluffier cream cheese frosting with a little extra vanilla. I haven’t baked anything since the great depression of April, 2014. Thank the stars that’s over.

While I do that I will be contemplating sending this girl a link to this post, or my poetry section and letting her stumble this way if she so chooses.

Perhaps it is better to play the game like a normal guy.

Who am I kidding? Cheh… Normal guy… playing games… so overrated…

Regardless, babe, if you ever end up here, I hope you feel the same way and appreciate that I used my brain and backbone to draw some lines and sort my baggage before “we” went anywhere. And that is directed to you, whether you’re the cute chick from OKC or anyone else I end up dating. I am sorting things out as quick as I can.  I am sorry I couldn’t deal with my baggage sooner and our trip has been delayed.

Edit: Apple Pie a la mode Cupcakes, just to prove I really do bake 🙂

Apple Pie Cupcakes