Your wrong

I know a few grammar Nazi’s clicked on this article, because I obviously messed up the grammar in the title.  That’s your wrong.  The point I am trying to get at however is that you’re wrong.  All of you.  All of us.

Warning: This post may invoke images that are inappropriate for friends.

There’s this beautiful and outright amazing girl I know.  And I know one of her dear friends will be reading this and have a moment almost as awkward as the one I want to describe (You’re welcome… you know who you are).

So that everyone else can understand the awkwardness, I must first describe this girl.  Let us start with the day we met.  We took a subway out to Coney Island with some of my greatest friends and she was a friend of a friend.  I guess we can call her Jane.  Jane was your standard fun loving girl and had a generally bubbly personality.  And this beautiful, not quite crooked, but certainly off-kilter grin.  The defining moment happened on the subway trek back, however.  At some point, Jane strikes up this conversation about the reinforced area of pantyhose. There was a genuine discussion about it and she had all the candor, enthusiasm and curiosity of a 6 year old.  I will never forget that.  And I will make sure some other people don’t either.

I will never be good enough

I will never be good enough.

Your children are not good enough.

You are not good enough.

Just stop trying to be good enough now.  It will never work out.

Let BatKid have his damn wish!

The greatest sin of all time was the crucifixion.

As a non-religious person, I have no problem inflaming a riot about religious topics.  I am sorry it offends you, but not sorry that I’m saying it.  I am not trying to alienate anyone and hope that the religious and atheist alike can appreciate what I am talking about.

Recently, the Make a Wish Foundation did one of the most amazing things I have ever seen in my life.  They got thousands of people to give a 5 year old child his dream.  They let him live a day pretending he was Batman and gave him missions and I must say it was heartmelting.  They asked a 5 year old boy who fought his leukemia into remission what he wished for more than anything.  He wanted to be BatKid.  They gave him that wish and now some idiots are trying to take that away.

Not My Muse

You were my muse, but you lost that.

A muse is a goddess, a piece of perfection that pulls men forward… upward.

You are so far from perfect, a shattered and tattered soul with a million flaws.

You will never again be that perfect statue on my mantle that demands prayer and praise.

I am NOT happy for her

I am not happy for her.  Trust me, I will never be happy for her again.

I do hope she is happy.

My ex-wife has just gotten engaged.  And I have very complicated emotions about such a simple event.

I am NEVER going on a first date again

The next time I ask a girl out, I’m going to walk up to her and ask her if we can go out on our 3^rd date.

Yeah, let’s skip 1 and 2.

I had my first real first date in over a decade and it was more than enough.